英國(guó)考官眼中7分雅思寫作：交通問題

時(shí)間：2024-11-12 23:19:57 雅思(IELTS) 我要投稿

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　　導(dǎo)語：今天小編給大家整理了一篇英國(guó)考官眼中的7分雅思寫作，同學(xué)們可以看看，參考參考，小編覺得寫得很好，希望大家喜歡。

英國(guó)考官眼中7分雅思寫作：交通問題

　　題目：

　　Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities。

　　作文：

　　Nowadays, it is obvious that the congestion in nearly all over the world in most countries is on the increase and cities are becoming busier. In my opinion, this problem must be tackled because it is a global issue and most of people most people, especially who live especially those who live in big cities, are suffering from that。

　　One of the main reasons which causes the traffic jam causes of traffic jam/reasons for traffic jam is that the majority of people prefer using their own cars instead of public transportation. However, it is not impossible to find good and effective ways to control the congestion. Public transportation is the easiest way to solve this trouble problem. If there are comfortable and cheap public transportations is comfortable and cheap public transportation such as trains and buses, they will make people like to use them better than drive people will choose to use it rather than drive. For instance, in Manchester, Stagecoach buses are the most convenient buses that help the city to have comfortable life in its to reduce the traffic on roads and streets during rush hours. In fact, governments should provide much better public transportation and charge prices that are affordable for everyone。

　　Another solution to solve that the traffic problems to charge the a congestion fee for every car that will go into a city centre. It will This will either discourage people from driving into that area, or raise more money for public transportation. A good example of this situation is London, which now has a congestion charge. Going to the city centre in London costs about ￡8 per day。

　　In conclusion, the problem of traffic congestion can be tackled by improving public transportation and by charging drivers who enter city centres。

　　評(píng)語：

　　Good introduction: you introduce the topic and answer the question in a simple way。

　　不錯(cuò)的開頭：對(duì)話題做了介紹，并簡(jiǎn)單回答了問題。

　　You give 2 solutions which are organised in 2 good paragraphs. Each paragraph develops the main point well. Good examples for each point。

　　將2個(gè)解決方案分別寫在1個(gè)不錯(cuò)的段落里。每個(gè)段落都較好的闡明主要觀點(diǎn)。為每個(gè)觀點(diǎn)都舉了較好的例子。

　　Ideas are well-linked and developed logically。

　　思路連貫、有邏輯。

　　You use some ‘band 7’ vocabulary e.g. on the increase, tackle a problem, prices that are affordable, discourage people, raise money, congestion charge。

　　使用了一些“7分詞匯”，如on the increase, tackle a problem, prices that are affordable, discourage people, raise money, congestion charge。

　　Excellent conclusion to summarise the ideas。

　　結(jié)尾對(duì)想法做了優(yōu)秀的總結(jié)。

　　The essay could be improved by reducing the number of small mistakes. However, there are several sentences that contain no mistakes at all。

　　減少一些小錯(cuò)誤能讓這篇文章變得更好。但也有一些句子完全沒有問題。

　　Overall, band 7.

　　綜上所述，7分。

　　in nearly all over the world：從語法上看，all over the world 是一個(gè)副詞詞組，前面不能加in這個(gè)介詞。從語義上看，想表達(dá)“全世界大多數(shù)國(guó)家”，直接用in most countries就可以了。

　　most of people：most 和 most of都表示某一群體中的大多數(shù)，但它們的區(qū)別在于，most后面加不具體的群體，most of后面加具體群體。例如：Most students want less homework. Most of students in my school want less homework. 原文中的people顯然并非某一具體群體，所以用most。

　　especially who live：非限定性定語從句的關(guān)聯(lián)詞不能省略。

　　reasons which causes the traffic jam：語義重復(fù)。

　　are comfortable and cheap public transportations：transportation是不可數(shù)名詞。

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